OMG I was sitting in the freaking parkinglot at said store crying over said person that SAID we are only friends. I'm so freakin stupid. I don't know why I wanted to see him so bad this morning but didn't. Oh well. I guess it doesn't matter. I don't think he wants anything else to do with me. This weekend has been hell not only at work but in my head. I have a war going on in there and its scary. Right now all I can hear is myself screaming. I feel hateful right now, but sad. Disappointed for sure. Hurt, maybe? By what? My own issues. I am acutally scaring myself. I know I'm getting to the point of being irrational. I can actually feel that I'm depressed. I don't feel like talking to anyone, I don't want to be around anyone now. I just want to sit here and cry and be by myself in my own torment. That's sad. I'm usually wide up ready to take on anything. I know something is wrong when I'm getting VERY FRUSTRATED with a patient. I'm usually compassionate. What is wrong with me? I ended up drawing some last night in my moments of peace. I looked at a pic that was sent to me in a txt which is mushy and turned it to something kinda...but not really dark. I'll post if my phone will send like its supposed to!
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